He was there but sort of not there

If you know what I'm saying

He was half shadowed in the corner at his table

His back to the room as if he was praying

He was hunched round his meal

His chair wedged in tight

Only the back of his trenchcoat

Enjoyed any light

His Trilby was tilted

Like a car on a cliff ledge

He had a twenty degree view span

From table edge to edge

By the state of his suit

And his unshaven chin

He seemed to have taken

His mind for a spin

He signed to the waiter

Who attended his call

But then communication faltered

He just hit a wall

He rolled off his seat

And curled into a ball

Causing his briefcase to fall over

And his teacup to fall

He began to wail loudly

'Please no leave me alone'

Uncontrollable shaking

The sound of tile against bone

I approched the mayhem

And offered the waiter some words

I said 'Leave him in turmoil

He's divinely disturbed'

Then I pulled him aside

And we both gave him space

The restaraunt stood silent

Watching the crease break his face

A full minute he fitted

As we all looked on blankly

He was no-one to us

So we cared not quite frankly

Then as soon as it started

It seemed so just to end

He began to breathe slower

His state just seemed to mend

To such an extent that

He broke into a smile

He returned to his chair

And sat for a while

He cleared up his briefcase

And straightened his hair

He ignored the smashed teacup

As if it never was there

As I say he was unknown

To me or the crowd

So when he got to his feet

And spoke out aloud

'Excuse me' he started

We almost embarrasedly stared

'I have been under some presure...

Supposing you cared

''My wife she has gone

She has found a new lover

And when I enquired of his name

It turns out it's my brother'

'We couldn't be closer, you see

We're identical twins

So this whole affair must rank

As one of the most sordid of sins'

As he finished his sentence

He took his bag and departed

Almost running from where

The melee had started

A silence ensued

Before people returned to their meals

An unusual hush

An uncomfortable feel

For this man with his Trilby

Tilted down to his face

Had bared his pain to some strangers

In the most public of place

The Loft

I converted my loft
For storage this June
And on its completion I connected
With this superior room

It seemed to forbear
All my deepest coverts
My second guess hang ups
My untimely immerse

The ladder it straddled
More than a pragamtic connection
It caused impersonal dialogue
And selective reflection

Some days I would loiter
At the foot of the round
Unable to lift
My shoe from the ground

Some days I would float
Past the rungs to the space
Where time moved in reciprocating motion
Around a locationless place

I kept the lights darkened
And the temperature low
Conditions conducive
To let myself go

To houses of strangers
Drinking into the night
With people I recognised
Through feelings not sight

Unbeknownst to my conscious
Cursed by intrigue overfed
I had morphed a world void
I was unhitched at the head

The hours were there
They left and came back
The colours collided
In rafter spaces of black

All sound was static
A tangible grout
That sealed my cranial spaces
No in and no out

The conversations I entered
The feelings I felt
Turned my skeleton languid
My muscles to melt

When emergence was done
And I true-visioned once more
I crawled back to the hatch
My ethereal door

As I lowered my carcass
Back to my old life again
I encomassed reality
A new phenomena of men

Sat there

Sat there

In the open air

On a chair

Without a care

No need to share

no soul to bear

It's fucking great

In my chair

There is nothing here for me

Ugly glamour

Vain deceit

Rapacious glutton

Blatant statement......... Of nothing

The Glitz, the glamour

The fashion, the fuss

The show, the sham

The face and the fraud

There is nothing I could want here


I did not invade your eyes with a brazen trick of the shade
I did not totter like a drunk on a skateboard passed your table


There is nothing to see here, come on move along, go home


I could not or would not know your sad little lies
I would probably weep if I saw behind your Rapunzel keep walls
You devour your day looking at reflections and paint
You can't see past the shaking brittle pink lace that engulfs
Yet if you asked another what or who they might be
A sad clown or a grey shadow could shake your world like a sneeze
You would lie blistered from the air that suddenly reached your new skin

There is nothing for me here

But you can't bring yourself to the surface
You're happy to drown, in the vinegar panstick that preserves
With your fat plastic tits and your hair tight as a drum
Shake off your naturality, and garb yourself technicolour
I'll try to be me as you try to be someone else

Together apart, looking one in and one out
Me me me, you you you

There really isn't anything here for me

I'm really not sure about you

You are saying something
And I'm not sure what
You're pointing at something
And watching the clock
I tried to acknowledge
What it was I thought you meant
But from the turn of your eye
I think I'm way off the scent

Perhaps you could write it
So it can seem much more clear
It seems we are'nt congruent
It's quite lonely in here
Ah I see you've taken a pencil
Do you want me to read?
Oh you've punctured your palm
You're beginning to bleed

What can I get you
Do you want me to help stop the bleeding?
Or is it just acknowledgement
That I see you're needing

Ah you nodded there
Did I get that right?
Oh you're crying, I'm sorry
Is it the pain or the fright?
Let me look at your hand
You must be in pain
Come on I can help you
Let me ascertain

I could get you a bandage
You've cut yourself badly you know
Are you going to run it under cold water?
Oh..... you're going to go?

You should get that looked at
I know a friend who could help
You could stem the blood flow
With some cord or a belt
Whats that? - you're staying
Well I'll make us some tea
Oh I heard you quite wrong, you meant
'you think its I who should leave'

Of course, I'm so sorry
I misunderstood
I'll just get my raincoat

Air

Excuse me
you're all around me again
haven't I met you before
A million times
I can't seem to move without you there

But no,
Don't hear me distorted
I don't feel suffocated
No,
I quite like having you around

Sometimes your more evident
But most times you're not
You're just well......there


Air

I'm as available to you
As you are to me
Sometimes you're in me
Wanting to get out
Sometimes you're far away
Holding up planes

I always look up


If we should know eachother
Any more intimately
Let me know
And I'll allow us some time
To exchange places more often
So I can feel where you were
As you reside in my innner

You seem to hold
Oceans of emotions
When I look through your soul
To a distance away
I suppose we all use your vastness
To identify our senses
I'm so glad you're there


Air


I

Pleading with potatoes

Please,
please don't

don't die